INTRODUCTION
For many years I had considered myself an "Atheist" with a fascination with folklore, regional legends, and ghost stories. I took relative comfort in the idea that once life functions in body terminates that life that occupied the body disappears just as body eventually disappears from any recognizable form of existence. The end was the true end and I was not bothered by this idea because how can not existing be scary when nothing exists to feel scared? I wasn't very vocal about my beliefs but I didn't shy away from them either. Yet this belief always bummed me out because it erases any possibility of ghosts and of all the paranormal phenomena ghosts are by far my favorite. I had spent some time going legend tripping in presumably haunted locations, hoping to witness some ghostly doings. I hesitate to say those experiences were a waste of time because they were quite fun I always came home with no stories to tell of any paranormal experiences. Eventually I gave up looking for an experience and just resigned myself to living vicariously through stories told in television shows, movies, and podcasts.
I remained this way until 2020 when I discovered the podcast "Astonishing Legends" and I heard about the infamous Sallie House in Atchison, Ks. The four part series was extremely arresting as it was an investigation into an experience the hosts had while taking a short tour of the house. I looked up the distance of the Sallie House from my residence to discover that it was only a 40 minute drive North of my residence, and I could rent the place out. I reached out to a close friend who shared my interests and he agreed to join me in an overnight stay in a house that was guaranteed to provide an experience. A year later we drove to Atchison to experience what many call the "Phenomena" which I will publicly confess altered my view of the universe I inhabit. When people would ask me if I believed in the paranormal or paranormal events I would quote the famous poster in Fox Mulder's office in The X-Files-I want to believe. I wanted to believe in the phenomena but I didn't have proof. After leaving the Sallie House I wasn't sure what I believed but I knew first hand that there was something out there.
Recently my wife asked me if I still call myself an atheist if I believe that the phenomena exists and I believe in ghosts. This is a tricky question because in the following years my research and exploration into the phenomena has not provided any concrete evidence of anything other than existence of the phenomena itself. I cannot say if ghosts are real, if there is an afterlife, if God is real, and I certainly have no idea what happens to our "self" after the body stops sustaining life. As I write this introduction to this body of work I my thoughts on the phenomena stand as such-the phenomena isn't paranormal but normal, it is a fact of life, it will interact with anyone if they want it to. The phenomena is also tricky, some times with a sense of humor, sometimes horrifically predatory, but it plays games-which has made me see it as another aspect of existence we must deal with. I would describe the phenomena as a "strange ecosystem" if anything. It is a part of life we interact with yet it's purpose, its existence, and it's value is unknown.
I had originally named titled this new chapter of my artmaking Experimenting With. I originally used this title because I am experimenting with using art to explore and illicit interactions with the phenomena. Yet the title never felt right to me. It wasn't until my wife asked me that important question about my beliefs that I realized that my reflection, research, and experimenting are not the point in of themselves. Instead they are just the means to which I explore the strange ecosystem we all exist in.
I have decided that this exploration where I want to focus my art for the foreseeable future.
This page is a curated record of this journey I've decided to take with my art making.
Assembled from the Sallie House in Atchison, Ks (This is What We Asked For), Caleb Harman and Zach Walker, Audio, 2024
4/20/23
I tried an EVP experiment. I hooked up an old radio and found a station of white noise on an AM station. I decided I would announce my intentions of exploring the audio files of the Sallie House with white noise being recorded and at that time any intelligence I encountered could feel free to communicate at that time. The event led to me realizing my headphones aren’t as sound proof as I thought where I could hear audio coming from my headphones in the recording. But this asks a question-I was not creating anything I was only searching. I feel like creation is more powerful than searching. Searching is goal oriented and I think might be limited in scope. I get the impression searching can be seen as consuming rather than creating is giving. Searching implies once found the searcher removes the item if interest, but creation offers so many possibilities for everyone. I think my first attempt I was stuck in technic-next I will try painting or drawing instead.
4/24/23
Resolving some personal problems to the best of my ability tomorrow I will try the experiment. I will go for a morning jog, walk the dog in the evening, and work with white noise (not a tone) tomorrow evening while maybe listening to music. I have charge my old iPhone (used in the Sallie House) and will use it as my primary recording device.
4/26/23
I did the experiment. I wasn’t sure what to expect and from the outset it yielded nothing. I worked for about 30 minutes and spent another 40 minutes mulling through the file. Most was just general noise from the static of the radio and me working, but there was a moment that stood out. Around 20 minutes into the audio file at the lowest audible register is what looked and sounded like a car driving by the house (I love on the corner of two streets both of which terminate in cul de sacs, our traffic, especially at 9-10 pm is very limited). When I isolated it the noise definitely sounded like a car but then what seems like music can be heard. It’s strange like it’s almost a pop song but not quite. I’m not willing to say it’s “something” but I don’t want to write it off either. It’s staying. I like it. Tonight I don’t work any more. I'm tired. I’ve been very tired lately.
4/27/23Maybe I’m having a hard time painting the bridge because I’m trying to paint the bridge I think I’m seeing not the bridge that is actually there. It’s not two bridges that are next to each other-it’s one oddly built bridge in a strange landscape.
I recorded a voice memo I need to send to my email.
Back to Hellier.
Bridges Over the Kansas River, Acrylic on Wood, 12.25" x 11", 2023
4-25-23 EVP Experiment, Audio, 2023
Private Email About the Paranormal, 2023
Four Knocks in the Nursery at the Sallie House in Atchison, Ks, Caleb Harman and Zach Walker, Audio, 2021
Distance of Sallie House from My Residence
The First Thing We Saw Entering the Sallie House in Atchison, Ks
The First Thing We Saw (Damaged), Charcoal and Mold on Paper, 2021/2024 (photograph taken in 2024 after discovery of damage)
5/07/23
This morning there was a storm that blew through the area around 2 am. The storm was predicated by an audible and palpable shift in the house and even the room. It was a feeling movement that swept in from the north window crossing the room in a spectral wave of energy then bounced from window to window on the east side of the room, causing the springs in the window vibrate as they released some tension they held until activated by the storm. I was barely asleep-sleep was not my friend again-and I heard three booms of thunder in succession. Like giant footsteps-reminiscent of the reveal of the Tyrannosaurus Rex in Jurassic Park. It was a bit unnerving. I pulled out my phone in hopes to get a similar moment but it had passed. Now it’s just my memory and maybe mine alone. I went to work early and texted Zach a list as follows
“ Follow up-things I saw on my winding drive to work 1. A giant skunk (huge) digging in the grass in front of the UPS distribution center 2. A barrel fire in a yard next to a giant empty lot-no one present 3. (I didn’t see this but I heard it) a rooster crowing in the middle of a run down neighborhood in KCK. Today might not be more interesting than this.”
I don’t know why I felt compelled to share this with him. I guess I trust he’s the type of friend that will see this and just accept my quirk in sharing it.
5/09/23
I did the sound recording while working again. The radio was tuned to a noise that was higher pitched and warbly than before. I figured that would provide a wider range of tones to access? I did notice that when I stopped using the tablet and moved to the mouse for references that the nature of the static would change. Since the session lasted longer than the others I have 2 hours to sift through of which right now I’ve barely scratched. But I have already found more musical sounds. I don’t think it’s from the radio (but cannot be discounted) since I'm using the AM channel. It also doesn’t sound like pop music-always strangely like some one singing or humming. I haven’t cleaned up the recording at all yet-in fact the high pitch warbling makes cleaning the audio a little more difficult for my lack of technical knowledge. I did note the music was again predicated by the sound of a car driving by
5/18/23
I finished the second to last page of Eater last night. I felt very happy and this morning as I was driving to work imagining what the ghoul would look like I saw a cellophane balloon saying “congratulations grad” I couldn’t help but feel a synchronicity happening at that moment using balloons like in Hellier to make the occurrence known. My first thought was to dismiss the whole thing as a coincidence but as I’ve been reading SSOBTME I realized that no-the connection was made in my head and I should not dismiss the message as mere coincidence. That this was a cheering-so close to the finish line keep it up type of message. So I decided that’s what it was-a message to keep on going with whatever work I am doing. On another note I cut some more boards down for another painting. I think next week I will continue the recording experiments.
6/09/23
I’ve been trying to work again. I had a moment a few days ago when I went down to the basement in the morning to get some clothes for work and the light was on. It was the light we never use, and it seems to turn on by itself. It happened sporadically since the visit to the Sallie house but had stopped for a while. The light was on at the switch. So I made a proposal out loud to collaborate with whatever is trying to make its presence known. I told it to communicate with the light in the basement. To turn it on. It was the next night and I was filling my water bottle in the kitchen about to go to the studio in the basement to work and the light above the sink flashed on. Never use that light too. It was around 9-9:30 at night the sun had completely set. I just had a feeling it was something. What I know so far is this: I will not be in control of these events. Cooperation doesn’t necessarily mean expected outcomes. I think this was a note-a confirmation using the medium but not the predetermined source. So now I’m trying something new. I have an app I bought that imitates the sb7 and I’m using that instead of the radio-I tried it last night and while I don’t know if I got any answers (I was asking questions while painting but my voice cannot be heard in the recording) by the end I began to notice some irregularities and I think a word. I have an idea on what to do next.
(Note: In August 2024 I discovered the light has poor wiring and will turn on 30 minutes to upwards of an hour after flipping the switch, which makes me believe that the switch was getting flipped unintentionally by other members of the household which would make the light look like it turned on by itself)
6/30/23
I think the app is kind of bunk. I did purchase dousing rods and right off the bat got some interesting results. That said I’m still wondering how much is micro movement from my subconscious that is creating a confirmation of what I want to see. Still I did some experiments and it’s clear that you need to hold the dousing rods. But circling back to the recording I did on 4-25. I am convinced that I got something. The humming is clearly in the recording. I was able to isolate it pretty well. So I wonder if it’s just white noise that is needed-the audible clay. The sound doesn’t clearly show up in the sound spectrum graph thing in audition. But it’s there and is retrievable. I am gearing up for a boys trip south of the 38th parallel and I’m devising some experiments for down there. One thing I’m interested in is howls and responses. I’ve been listening to a lot of field recordings of people doing howls and getting strange sound coming back…apparently August is good Sasquatch season? Didn’t know that was a thing.
7.06.23-3:53 am
Sallie house the fucking parrot-8.04.23 addendum the parrot replays the past in the present.
8/04/23
I’ve been reading a lot and I’ve had some slight epiphanies. I’m not sure how to move them beyond ideas, but I need to write them down. I’ve been reading “The Trickster and the Paranormal” by George P. Hansen and he discusses how the trickster element of the paranormal can be found all over world religions, he lists a couple of different examples but one that strikes me is Hermes. Apparently a character of opposites but also of transitions. I can’t help but think about transitions, in Hellier Season 2 when Karl Pfeiffer goes under hypnosis he says that “they” the phenomena, goblins, what have you exist in the space between places. They exist in transition. Um they mentioned when Keel or Crowley wanted to talk to these entities they could tune a radio to the noise in between channels. I doubt this is groundbreaking shit but It may help me focus on some ideas-transition, spaces in between-Paul Amatai finding the perfect middle in a movie-the act of change. The Sallie house was a rental and is still rented out to travelers and the intelligence there comes and goes. The goblins in Hellier dwell in caves, the literal doorstep to the above and below. I’ve been fascinated with bridges, literally a space between two elevated areas that can be traveled. Night and day, the evening and the dawn-times of transition. So there is a chance that there are times that the phenomena is more available? I need to learn how to make a radio and make a franks box. I don’t know what this all means but its something maybe. The spaces in between. When we walk through a doorway, who looks at the door frame? Is that where this all lives in the unobserved moments of then and now? What the fuck does that even mean? It's eternally present in a sense since every moment (in linear time) transitions. But how do you illustrate that as well?
Why does the trickster live there? Is it the place of endless possibility? I’m wondering what this trip will be like btw when we head south to that cabin. I’m trying not to hijack it but there might be some opportunity to strike out on my own or with Caleb and just see. I must remember that the very nature of this stuff will most likely never be definable. Just explore it.
8/22/23
Well the trip yielded maybe something, maybe nothing. There were lots of owls which, to be honest, one kind of expects in the forests of the Ozark Mountains. But the second night we were there we were lying on the rock banks of the river by our cabin watching a meteor shower. I swear I was seeing flashing under the canopy of the trees on the ridge above us (I’ve reached out to my camping companions to see if they recall seeing the same things). This was interesting to me because the light was white. Not green or yellow like a lightning bug. I’ve also wanted to make a bit of the Astonishing Legends series on conjuring Phillip. The researchers who invented Phillip began to get results by laying down direct intention followed with belief. I’ve been doing my recordings by lackadaisically offering opportunities to communicate. I think I need to be more forceful with my will. This next experiment I will announce my intention and then say what results I would like to achieve.
Text to Zach:
Opinion: okay so when at the cabin and we were looking at the meteor shower I noticed bright lights flashing under the tree canopy lighting up the undersides of the leaves but off the ground. This was preceded by a bunch of the owl calls. The lights were white. They’d flash on and off and they were clearly in the trees….I’m also not the only one that saw them. I let everyone settle in bugs or car lights but they didn’t stream through the trees or swipe around like car lights. And bugs don’t put off white light. So I’m really thinking we were witnessing the phenomenon. We were farther south than Joplin but that area is known to be spooky….I’m legit thinking this man
8/24/23
I remembered after the visit to the Sallie house I’d hear scratching on the inside of the walls. Like a rodent climbing up and down the walls. But we have two cats. The likelihood of a mouse is slim to none. We also got activity I think the nail like scratching in the walls had to be related to the activity. It fits the MO.
Addendum another synchronicity-finished the van meter visitor and the conjuring Phillip series on astonishing legends and I chose I random episode of strange familiars about Kentucky to listen to and the guest name drops the Phillip experiment and hits on a lot of the final conclusion themes from astonishing legends about the phenomena is made from our psychical prowess.
9/06/23
Labor Day I was taking a shower in the morning after a run and Renae had left to walk the dog. The boys were playing by themselves so I had the bathroom door open so I could hear if anything happened. I heard the front door open and Hollis go look outside and shout hello? I called to Hollis asking if any one was inside the house he didn’t respond so I called again. He shut the front door and came to the bathroom confused. Is any of your friends inside the house? He said no and in a baffled tone he said he heard some one calling his name. I asked if some one was outside or did he see some one, he said no no one was was around but some one was calling his name from outside
12/10/2023
I’m sitting in target parking lot-listening to a piece I made from a recording of 12/03. I had an epiphany about this piece. I made the hour long recording while working on a painting of a cat I needed to finish sooner than later. I had made some recordings earlier but my working was half hearted and distracted. I was not asking for anything just a communication if there was anything that wanted to communicate to do so. This time I asked for something specific: I wanted the signal from the radio to be altered. I sat and painted not paying attention to the radio but to my work I got up-turned everything off and sent the recording to my computer. A few days later I looked at the recording forgetting my request and noticed that there was an interference that appeared in the radio recording halfway through the recording. The interference blasts out in intervals increasing the volume in a pattern that almost looks like Morse code. The pattern is so definite that I was just thinking it was an errant broadcast that showed up and lasted 30 minutes or so. It had some interesting sounds so I decided to dissect the recording and use it as a sound piece since my ideas are about experience not evidence of the phenomenon. The piece starts with my request then turns into an audio abstract noise piece. I finalized my edits and was satisfied by the final product. Then yesterday I was thinking about the file and and my request and it dawned on me that my request was fulfilled. That the signal did get altered and significantly altered. Is this coincidence it could very well be. I have no controls in these experiments but at the same time I’m not expecting to change minds or prove anything. So it doesn’t really matter. I asked for the signal to be altered and it was.
9/24/2024 Note: This event altered my idea that the art must be thematically linked to the phenomena. Instead the act of creation and creating while "In the Zone" seems to be more important than what is actually being created. In "Hunt for the Skinwalker" a anecdote is shared about a person who traveled to the ranch in Utah to meditate, presumably to 'commune with the aliens'. The former owner and at the time current grounds keeper agreed to allow the man to meditate on the property. He chose a location, sat down and began meditating which seemed to provoke an aggressive response from the phenomena by drawing the ire of a cloaked creature (similar to the Predator from the action/sci-fi franchise) which hopped from tree to tree across the ranch to roar in the mans face. While this anecdote is dramatic it is not unique. Meditation, or extreme will and concentration seems to elicit UAP appearance, cryptid sightings, and other phenomena when focused towards the phenomena. Art making is no different that meditation in a lot of ways which leads me to believe that by being in a state of concentration and fluid creation I was able create an environment to foster such a distinct response to my request.
Cat Portrait, Approximately 11"x14", Acrylic, 2023
12-03-23 Stated Intent Recording, Audio, 2024